Friday, October 22, 2010

The Spirit Within Me

For the past few nights, it has taken me what seems like forever to go to bed and fall asleep. Not that I haven't been sleeping well, it's just the getting to sleep step that has been fairly difficult.

During corporate worship this morning, I realized something. I could not stand still. To not move just seemed so foreign to my body. I couldn't just stand during worship. I had to move. But honestly, even the movement that I did still didn't seem to release all that is stirring within me. I probably should have just broke into a breakdance or something; B-boying (official term for breakdancing...ugh...I need to learn how to dance) would probably have helped.

And as the worship set came to a close, God gave me words to express my condition. I have a restless spirit within me. By no means is this meant as a bad thing. It's just that this spirit is the same Holy Spirit that was in Jesus, so you could say that it's pretty powerful. The Holy Spirt moves and knows nothing about sleep. I have never been more aware of the Holy Spirit moving within me than right now. Not only can I not seem to sit still, I can't stop thinking about how good God is. (The Holy Spirit-Genesis 1:2;Romans 8:9,11;1 Corinthians 3:16; 2:10-14; 2 Timothy 1:14)

My mind has been proven to be pathetic. In fact, I'm not so sure if my mind has caught up with everything. Maybe it eventually will. I won't be too upset if it never does because God can do more than I can comprehend.

To give you a brief description of my emotions right now, I'm going to attempt to make an
analogy/parallelism/hypothetical anecdote. Sound good? Then keep reading...

--> I have just jumped into a plane to go skydiving for the first time. It's something that I've always wanted to do and the moment has finally come. The plane takes off and starts to head up to the neccessary height of elevation. As the time passes by, a lot of thoughts start to run through my head. "Will I survive this? What am I doing? This is crazy. Wait, God has my life. What is there to fear? I took the training and I've been equipped. I trust God. This is crazy awesome. God is rad! I'm ready. I'm STOKED! I'm going to finally do something I've always wanted to! Oh yeah!" But then I realize that I still have at least twenty minutes or so until the plane finally arrives at the correct elevation to jump at. Now, with all of this excitement, I'm going to have to stay focused and wait patiently for the jump.

Here's the explanation if you don't get it and I had a failed attempt:
I am on a DTS in Herrnhut, Germany and about to start doing direct mission work for the first time in my life. I've had DTS on my heart for the past few years and now I'm doing my lecture phase. Already, I've had a lot of thoughts enter my head."Will I survive this? What am I doing? This is crazy. Wait, God has my life. What is there to fear but God Himself? God is guiding and equipping me. I trust God. I'm ready. This is crazy awesome. God is rad!  I'm STOKED! I'm going to finally do something I've always wanted to! Oh yeah!" Fortunately, the wait for doing outreach is coming to an end.

My school heads out on the 30th of October to Hamburg, just next Saturday. We'll be there till November 13th and then we head to Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, and then head back to Herrnhut for Christmas. It's still our lecture phase during this time but God has definitely been leading this school with such clarity. I know that God is stirring a lot within me. I think I know why God is. I'm so grateful for God giving us the Holy Spirit to rely on because there are going to be a lot of opportunities for the Holy Spirit to speak into the lives that surround us in each city.

Now would be the perfect time for prayer. I'll let you decide what needs to be lifted up to Him.

Well, I'm going to head out for a run. Even though I can't exhaust the stirring spirit within me, I know I can make my body tired. (I think Paul would agree-Romans 6:19)

Hope all is well! Again, thanks for following my updates. You help me to realize the support group that I have is full of amazing people. I love you all and I'm so encouraged by the fact that you read this.

4 comments:

  1. This is blowing my MIND, Kari! I read this and I start tearing up! Im so excited! For you, for God, for the people who will be hit with a sudden storm of God's love through you! Im jealous... because I want to see all this for myself. Im so proud of you and blessed by you from waaaay over here. Keep it up, Babe!
    Love Michal Paige

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  2. Kari, I am truly STOKED for you and your adventures that await. Thank you for stoking the fire within the rest of us here! I love you and am so proud of you! As Tammy M. would say "You Go Girl!" Love, MOM

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  3. i LOVE this kari, can barely believe it's you! sounds like all is going even better than we could've imagined. i guess you really will have to start some of those b-boying lessons over here in the hood- if you're not too good by the time you get back that is!
    love, anna

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  4. K-k-k-kari! this all sounds sso great and it makes- me 1-billion and more excited to get to know Lord so much more!!! have a blessed day!

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