You Are a Treasure Chest

God loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for me, not because I was worth it but to make me worth it. I am learning that I am more than just a child of His. What more does God think of me? According to 1 Peter 2:9, I am "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession."

God gave me a song, through the help of a dear friend by the name of Kayla Rasmussen, to better describe this phase of discipleship I'm going through. The song is "Finding Your Feet Again" by Denison Witmer.

"This is what it's like
Finding your feet again
The part of you that couldn't
Finally thinks you can

You're taking off some time to do this
A small apartment bedroom rearranged
To know that you are loved
You're finding your feet again
The part of you that couldn't
Finally thinks you can

A brownstone on a street in Brooklyn
The light tier flash from temperature to time
And people do the same
You're falling asleep again
Part of you a dreamer
And part of you is dream

And you said...

Go now in the light of your God
Go now in the love of your God
Go now in the peace of your God
Go now in the joy of your God."

I'm finding my feet again. My feet are to "walk in a manner worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory" (1 Thessalonians 2:12) I pray for every footstep to show that I am walking and abiding in Jesus Christ.

I've been seeing several things repeatedly coming up that aren't just coincidences. Nope. I don't think coincidences come in such an overwhelming abundance of repetition. Oswald Chambers said something similar to when things come with a constant repetition or a strong persistance, God is desperately trying to communicate with you.

About a month or two before I left for DTS, I had this crazy idea to bring my violin. WHAT??!! Most common question EVER: "Kari, YOU play the violin??!" Yep. Given, I hadn't played since high school, but yes. I started to play when I was ten. Maybe I had let the amaziness of other musicians surrounding me create a bit of insecurity. (cough, cough, my Dad, Voetbergs, Puyallup Crew, musicians everywhere, wink, wink). Not a bit of insecurity. Yep. Complete intimidation of amazingly wonderful musicians. Yep. Fear of man mixed with a ton of pride. Eww.

In fact, during this time before I left, I had even realized then I had put the musical gift that God gave me on the back burner. Why? Because I wasn't satisfied with my performance, I feared the humiliation that comes with people being better, and I wanted to be the best. You could say I was slightly a perfectionist. Slightly. Nope. Definitely-I was a perfectionist (still have my tendencies; God grace is more than sufficient).

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love singing songs during worship but I've noticed that something is missing. My violin. Nope. I didn't pack it. And since this DTS, God has given me several different "coincidences" to remind me of how much I so wish I had brought it. Every place I've been, God has given me a reminder of what I have from Him. He placed a treasure inside of me. I tried to place this particular treasure out of my chest when really God wanted me to use my gifting to bring Him praise. I'm now understanding that He gave me more than I am giving.

He is giving me eyes to see that He will never remove the gifts He has given me. My violin is just about in reach, give or take a few thousand miles. I'm so excited because as I wait for a violin to have to play, now is the time that God is really growing a desire in my heart to play music for His glory. Now I'm just starting to wonder how much longer He has to stir up this inside of me. Don't worry. It's a work in progress, but I'm hoping to have a violin to take with me on outreach. Mom, Dad, and I are working out the details to make this possible. Who in Africa wouldn't want to hear my grooves? (Yep, Africa! Duh. ;-) Little rabbit trail, but I wanted to SECRETLY let you all know my outreach continent; specific location to be announced-->figured out...)

I'm staying with an incredible family in Brussels, Belgium. They love to play music and worship God! The daughter plays the violin. Of course! Tonight, we just enjoyed fellowship together and worshipped (I haven't played the violin yet...but I will). Once their daughter went to bed, I shared how God is revealing what I've been trying to deny and hide. Despite the past two years and not missing it, I miss playing the violin now more than ever. I now desire to play with a different heart. "The part of you that couldn't finally thinks you can." I don't care how awful I am or how awful people may think I am. My heart is for Him and I want to bring Him joy. I want to, I can, and I will play for Him.

Before we headed up to our rooms, our host parents prayed for Martha and I to be musical vessels; bringing glory and praise to God. Russ, Mr. FamilyHostMan, mentioned that earlier today, someone from church shared an impression from God. "Coincidence is God is trying to let you know something." Yes indeed.
So now, after listening to that one song over and over while writing this, I'm going to bed in the light, love, peace, and joy of God. Hallelujah!

Praise God!

Thanks for all of your prayers! I'm loving this YWAM craze! I have a treasure chest inside of me. This DTS is only the beginning of discovering all the other treasures God has woven within me. Start preparing yourself for what you will see from my life after this DTS. In other words, I'm dreaming bigger and I'm going to do things in life I never thought I would do because God's plan for me is bigger and better than even I or you could imagine. It's only the beginning folks...GET READY!

I am...